Instagram Marriages
Sayed Hossein Al-Qazwini
وَمِنْ ءَايَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجاً لّـِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لاَيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
[Surah Ar-Rum 30; Verse 21]
In today’s world, the amount of relationships that have developed through social media is incredible, and is becoming increasingly common among the youth.
How did such methods of finding spouses arise in society?
Religiously speaking, one of the main reasons why they have becoming increasingly popular is due to the fact that we as an Islamic community have neglected the facilitation of youth interaction. We have built imaginary walls and barriers for interaction. We have failed to establish conferences and organize events where the youth can meet and interact with one another (within halal boundaries of course). As such, the Muslim youth are resorting to other methods of interaction, namely social media.
Another important contributing factor is ‘picky-parenting’. On many occasions our youth actually find a potential spouse but the parents reject them for numerous reasons.
A final reason is the inevitability of using such communicative methods, due to the advancements of technology.
There pros and cons to social media marriages:
Pros
There are many potential spouses from various ethnicities and locations.
You can discover a lot about a person from their profile, and therefore assess their suitability.
There are no barriers towards interaction. You can ask anything, at any time.
You can discover similarities and differences in an instant.
Cons
The possibility of imposters and liars on social media.
Someone may not necessarily reveal their entire life on social media, concealing their flaws from the public.
Social media methods are still unconventional, and therefore don’t adhere to traditional methods of getting to know someone in person.
It is difficult to obtain external advice and suggestion about someone you met online.
What is the Sayed’s opinion on this matter?
The Sayed states that if you have the ability to find someone in person from the community this should be first priority. However, if you are unable to get to know someone for whatever reason, be it a small community or a lack of potential spouses, then you can use social media, making sure to adhere to religiously boundaries.
Additionally, after getting to know someone online, it is important to meet them in person to ensure they are genuine and to obtain opinions from your family and the community. Don’t start setting wedding dates and honeymoons before you’ve even met them.
